Title: All bound for Mumuland- Part 2 of 3
Warning/Spoilers: swearing, /None
Characters: Jack, Owen, Toshiko, Suzie, Basil & Sybil Fawlty
Summary: Jack needs to get the team out of Cardiff and some technology needs testing. Set just before the events of Boom Town.
Prompt: written for the Fic exchange unused prompts challenge.
Prompt #133- Fawlty Towers: When the team break down in Torquay on the way to investigate a case, they are forced to stop at the first hotel they can find. Bonus points if Basil finds out the Jack fought in WWII and has to remind everyone yet again “Dont mention the war”.
Comments: The title comes from a song by KLF (Justified and ancient) and idea was provided by the actor who played Owen Harper- in one of the featurettes on the dvd for series one he mentioned reading the script and what he thought the Torchwood vehicle was going to be like before the SUV was born.
Disclaimer:I have no ownership of these or any other character connected with Torchwood or Fawlty Towers I just borrow them for a while
Sybil Fawlty patted the side of her head, making sure no single strand from her heavily coiffured hair-do had dared to move even a fraction out of place. She glanced towards the open doorway, and her husband, who was lurking tentatively at the entrance, watching the rain falling and grumbling to himself endlessly.
She was just about to go into the office to make a phone call, when he suddenly hurtled towards her, arms flailing in all directions, sighing, she waited for him to finally get around to telling her what was causing the latest in a very long line of hysterical reactions.
“You are not going to believe what's just pulled up in our car park!” he bellowed, gesticulating towards the doorway manically, then turning back and forth quickly, “Bolt the door, perhaps they'll think we're closed, or something.”
“Basil... BASIL!” she finally yelled back, but he was in too much of a state to hear her.
“How the hell are we going to attract a better class of clientèle with that monstrosity stuck in the car park? Well?” He demanded, glaring towards her, then marching back and forth waving his arms in the air.
“I work my fingers to the bone, I lose sleep trying to work out how to move this hotel out of the gutter and what do I end up with?” He stopped pacing then stared at his wife, eyes wide, his neck craning forward, right hand flailing in the direction of the car park, “Hm? Well? What wonderful apparition pulls up outside? A bloody ice cream van!”
Sybil sighed, then pursed her lips, “If they're paying customers Basil, their money is as good as anyone else's.”
Basil closed his eyes, then stood bolt upright and shrugged, “Maybe,” he mumbled, “But you don't know where it's been do you?”
Spotting one of their residents walking towards him, he bowed slightly, rubbed his hands together and through teeth that resembled more of a clench than a smile enquired, “Looking for something Major?”
Major Gowen peered vaguely towards him, lurching slightly, he asked, “Seen the evening paper, Fawlty?”
Basil's eyes narrowed, “No, typical paper-boy, slightest sign of any bad weather and they refuse to leave home, I blame the parents, mollycoddled, that's what they are, not like us, Aye Major?”
The Major shook his head, “Oh, no definitely not Fawlty. What was I going to do? Oh yes,” he murmured and wondered back towards the bar.
Basil watched his retreating back wearily, “No, quite!”
Hearing the sound of voices, Basil hurtled towards the door and then back again, “It's them, they're coming, tell them we're full,” then turned quickly to one side as Jack marched past him and up to the reception desk.
Sybil smiled cheerfully at Jack, then taking note of the other three as they joined him, extended her greeting to them too, “Welcome to Fawlty Towers.”
Jack nodded back, “We need rooms- just for tonight... we've broken down.”
“Sorry, full up,” Basil announced loudly, scuttling behind his wife, then hovering between the telephone and the end of the desk.
“I'm afraid we only have two rooms available, but they are doubles,” then noticing Owen's reaction, added quickly, “With single beds.”
Jack nodded his approval, but Basil hadn't given up trying to get rid of them, “No we haven't dear,” he announced as positively as he could manage, at the same time trying to make sure he was out of range of her foot.
“What are you talking about Basil?” she demanded.
“Party arrived half an hour ago, while you were in the office, so I'm sorry but no room.”Basil leaned forward and took the booking pad away from Jack, “Sorry,” he repeated, then stood back clearly waiting for him to go away.
Sybil smiled again at Jack, pushed the pad back towards him, “If you could just fill that in, thank you.”
Basil shuffled, then leaned over to grab the pad back again.
“Basil,” she snapped.
Immediately withdrawing his hand, he admitted defeat, glared at Jack and retreated towards the office, then murmured, “Over sexed, over paid and over here,” before he shot into the office, slamming the door behind him.
“Don't mind him, he gets confused,” she said, then turning her attention to the registration form, smile at him and said, “Captain?”
Jack nodded and smiled back, “From Cardiff, we were testing some equipment, but it went wrong.”
“Oh dear, nothing drastic I hope?” Sybil commiserated.
“Hopefully not, but one or other of us may have to go out to the...vehicle during the night,”Jack paused, waiting to see if she would object.
Nodding, she said, “Of course, well if it becomes necessary I can give you a key- just in case... I'll get someone to take you up... Manuel?”
“It's okay, we can manage... just point me in the right direction,” Jack said, smiling winningly at her.
Indicating the staircase, she said, “Top of the stairs, turn left, both rooms are next to each other,” she then turned, took two keys from numbered hooks and then handed them to Jack.
Nodding his thanks, he turned and followed her directions, the others trailing behind him.
* * *
Once they got to the top of the stairs Jack handed one of the keys to Suzie, then she and Toshiko went into one of the bedrooms while Jack and Owen went into the other one.
Owen went straight across to the window and looked out, “It's okay, clear view of the van...oh shit!”
The ice cream van was pulsating theatrically and as he watched, it changed shape. Jack hurried to the window, just in time to see its new image.
“Oh wonderful!” He groaned.
“I don't think it could be more bloody obvious if it tried!” Owen grumbled, staring at the newly formed shape of a large fire engine.
The bedroom door was flung open, Toshiko and Suzie arriving at a run.
“Have you seen....” Toshiko started, then realising they were by the window slowed down.
Suzie was already opening her laptop up on the bed, “Did you see it when it actually changed shape?” She demanded, typing in information and waiting impatiently for the display to update.
“Yeah, what do you want to know?” Owen asked.
“Did it just morph from one shape to the other, or did it fade or flash first?” she asked him.
“Oh it definitely flashed, a lot!”
Suzie groaned, “Oh hell, something's shorting!”
Jack stared, “It's doing it again, Suzie.”
Suzie rushed to the window in time to see it change back into an ice cream van, she heaved a sigh of relief, “Thank goodness for that!”
“You can say that again!” mumbled Owen, “I wasn't going to be the one to explain to that nutcase downstairs why there was a fire engine in his car park.”
To be continued....